Monday, February 20, 2012

Legacy of Love

8 years ago today my best friend stepped into eternity.
Has it really been that long since we have shared a laugh (we had many) or held each-other in a mother-daughter embrace? She is forever in my heart, and missing her never goes away; some days, just a hint of missing, and others an intense ache. 
There are questions I have, especially now that I have my own daughter who resembles me in many ways, and whose best friend I am.  'What was I like that at 12? What did you think?  You never seemed impatient.  How did you do that?' 'Mom, guess what! Remember when I did...your granddaughter, she is too!'
I don't feel that my mom is missing out by not being here, how could she be? She is at the feet of Jesus.  I don't feel that we are missing out either.  God, in His goodness, has provided love and added to our family in marvelous ways that leave me in awe.  It's just that I miss her.  And that's long as I do not let missing her cause me to miss out on the beauty that God has for today. (She would not want that anyway!) I am missing her while looking forward to eternity instead of missing her looking back to what can never be right now.  So, I live with an ache, an empty place in my heart that is hers alone.  And yet, my heart is able to ever increase in its capacity to add love....expanded heart, more love, with empty, longing places...all at once.
Oh, how I am thankful that she introduced me to Jesus, impressed His love upon my heart, and taught me to love Him; and because of Him, this painful separation is not the end, but a mere speck in the expanse of eternity.  Oh what we have to look forward to!
And I am grateful for the ache, to have someone to ache for.  To have been loved so intensely that I have reason to miss her intensely.  Sadly, some have not know this kind of love.  I am one of the blessed ones.  I have the opportunity to seek out and share the kind of love my mother gave me with those that are hurting and feeling unloved. 
At the end of her time here on earth, when we all got together to celebrate her life, her memorial service stretched to 3 hours. Those who shared all spoke of her love.  Her love for God. (He is a resounding first place in her life.)  Her love for her family. (fierce) Her love for others. (faithful)
I choose to carry on her torch, passing on her legacy of love to my children; and to love others faithfully with His love, the way she did.

Friday, February 10, 2012

How Can I Keep From Singing

It has not been the easiest of weeks....just being honest. BUT I am so thankful that God is not moved by my weakness. Rather, He is ready and waiting to pick me up, hold me tight, dust me off, and give me strength to go at it ... again. (Read Psalm 18)

So here is my 'theme song' for this week:

"How Can I Keep From Singing"

by Chris Tomlin and sung by Lydia Stanley at the Bay Revival (I think it is the 2nd song...)

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne